What Is a Healthy Marriage?

In a country in which more than a third of all marriages end in divorce, considerable attention is paid to the various causes of marital strife and unhappiness. Rather than focus on unhealthy marriages, however, perhaps we should examine the key qualities that define the majority of positive committed relationships and a healthy marriage.

Here are 14 basic characteristics of a successful and healthy marriage. While each strong relationship is as unique as the couple that works to establish and maintain it, the following features—accomplished in a wide variety of ways—serve as constant refueling stations on the road to wedded bliss.

Mutual Respect

This is actually a two-part process on the part of both spouses. First, this respect must come from a place of authenticity and sincerity within; and then this respect must be demonstrated and projected outward to one’s significant other. Always remember that, when it comes to respect, actions speak louder than words in a healthy marriage.

Openness

Open, honest expression is absolutely essential to any successful marriage. Just take care to ensure that all feelings are communicated in a respectful and sensitive manner.

Emotional Independence

One cannot depend exclusively upon a spouse or life-partner for the whole of their emotional support. Successful couples in a healthy marriage are able to help one another through emotional issues without using their partner as a crutch.

Individual Contentment

Fundamentally happy individuals do not require constant attention and “maintenance” from their spouses. The healthiest couples came into their relationships happy already and so do not need to look to their relationships to provide joy.

Similar Values

While many aspects of a relationship can weather a difference of opinion and, indeed, even thrive amid contrasting viewpoints, happy couples almost always share the same core moral values. Do not expect your partner’s basic ethical principles to suddenly and automatically fall in line with your own.

Constant Companionship

If one does not look upon one’s spouse as one’s “best friend” then one must put them on a plane even higher than friendship. It goes without saying that couples who enjoy spending time with one another are infinitely more successful than couples who do not.

Shared Interests

Although husbands and wives can and should have interests separate and apart from one another, a shared hobby, concern, or cherished activity can truly bring them closer together in a healthy marriage. A common interest gives couples the opportunity to spend more time as a unit, communicate openly on a topic about which both are passionate, and—perhaps most importantly—to have fun together!

Common Goals

It makes little difference how happy a committed couple happens to be at the moment if they do not share a similar vision of the future. Marriage is a commitment that often lasts a lifetime. Individuals with incompatible goals are bound to experience profound and perhaps irreconcilable difficulties at some point down the line.

Physical Affection

Physical expressions of love—including hugging, kissing, and sex—are always important litmus tests of marital happiness. It is not sufficient to expect that one’s spouse simply “knows” that they are loved. One must take action!

Trust

Healthy marriages run on trust. This means not only having confidence in one’s spouse to remain faithful, but also trusting and having respect for that spouse’s opinions and decisions.

Respect for Personal Time and Space

Part of marital trust is developing the assurance necessary to allow one’s partner the freedom to pursue his or her own personal interests. This not only means giving him or her the latitude to engage in favorite pastimes, but also letting him or her have friends outside of the confines of the marriage without feeling jealous and/or controlling.

Support

A system of mutual support underlies all aspects of a healthy marriage. Successful couples constantly provide for one another physically (by sharing chores, financial obligations, and so on) and emotionally (by showing love and affection, being good listeners, and generally making life better for their significant others). Daily complements are a must.

Mutual Inspiration

People respect and are drawn to those who challenge them on a variety of personal levels. Successful couples in a healthy marriage accept one another as they are, but always inspire one another to be better individuals.

Communication

Effective communication skills are among the most important keys to a long and successful marriage. Conflict will inevitably arise in even the most idyllic of committed relationships. It is the methods we use to resolve these conflicts that can make the difference between a lasting, happy marriage and one that ends in pain and divorce.