Are You Co-Parenting with the Ex?

Learning to parent as a divorced couple can be hard, but many parents actually find it easier to parent together after a split. Some parents become better parents after divorce as many of the marital issues fall away. Others find that they are challenged with a variety of issues including inconsistent parenting styles, parental alienation, adjusting children with special needs, and managing child schedules to name a few. Parenting in general is one of the hardest jobs in the world, so having to co-parent with someone you don’t respect or even like can make this already challenging life role even harder. The good news is that you don’t have to like your Ex to be a good co-parenting partner. A good co-parent is the same as being a good parent. It’s just a matter of defining what being a good parent means to each of you.

The most important part of co-parenting is to find a way to share in your children’s lives while maintaining the greatest sense of integrity possible. You are a role model and your children look to you to determine how they should act and or feel. As a parent, you have an incredible amount of power and control, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Children are no more affected by divorce than their friends who live in married households. Divorce is only a problem when associated with other risk factors unproductive co-parenting and martial conflict. (Basque Research)

Here’s How Divorce Detox™ Can Help:

Planning: We will work with you to come up with a co-parenting plan that works for everyone. This may sound idealistic, but we are very good at creating systems and solidifying agreements. Most co-parenting is unproductive because there is too much left to chance and presumption.

Education: We will educate you about healthy, adaptive parenting styles so you can get on the same page or at least pick and choose what will work for you in your household. Knowledge is the most fundamental parenting tool. Without education and knowledge you will be lost and lack confidence.

Relating: We can help you understand what your child is trying to communicate. and how to best respond to him or her based on age, temperment, personality and your ongoing relationship. Having a professional opinion on developmentally appropriate interventions will help you to co-parent more effectively.

Communication: We will teach you how to have productive conversations based on mutual respect, and how to avoid bringing your own emotions and “stuff” into your co-parenting process.

How We Work With You:

Co-Parenting can only work if both partners are 100% committed to working. Thus, both you and your spouse must attend meetings together. Your first appointment will include a thorough assessment of your current circumstances. We do this through the use of structured interview specifically designed for parents wanting to improve their co-parenting skills. After the first appointment we will continue to meet with you 1-2 times per week with a minimum of 8 meetings. Our work is time-limited meaning we do not see open ended ongoing therapy as being productive. As a result, we will work with you to set goals and to meet them for the most effective and efficient results. At the end of 8 meetings we will evaluate progress and determine the course for further treatment.